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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28842756">Treading Water with Icebergs</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/regnbaggen/pseuds/regnbaggen'>regnbaggen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I'm Not a Stranger to The Dark [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bruce Has Issues, Dick Grayson Has Issues, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is a Ray of Sunshine, Dick Grayson is a Talon, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Jason Todd Swears, Kid Dick Grayson, Protective Jason Todd, Romani Dick Grayson, he just trynna protect his family))):, ish, kinda not anymore, very mixed signals with these tags</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:27:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28842756</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/regnbaggen/pseuds/regnbaggen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick's finally safe from the Court of Owls.<br/>He's with Jason again and been staying at the manor for almost two months.<br/>A lot has changed during these months, but there are still some parts that make Dick feel like nothing's changed at all; that Jason and him are still the same boys they were at Linden.</p><p>Mostly some brother bonding and then some angst in the end like always (:<br/>You probably need to read the first work in this series to understand this work, hopefully the rest of the works in this seres will be more stand-alone and DANG that's a lot of 'works' in one sentence</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dick Grayson &amp; Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson &amp; Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I'm Not a Stranger to The Dark [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>187</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Treading Water with Icebergs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So!<br/>Here we are again; eye to eye, nose to nose, lips to-</p><p>enjoy! (:</p><p>Check their ages in the series description!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dick wakes up slowly, stretching out his limbs while blinking his eyes open.</p><p>He's been staying at the manor for almost two months now. Jason and his family of Bat's had stormed the Court of Owls; efficiently infiltrating it before taking it down, it had taken them five months but Jason had gotten Dick back before burning the whole Court "<em>all the way down to hell</em>" as Jason had put it. </p><p>Dick had met Jason's family for a second time, or maybe a first depending on how he counted the time when he was still <em>Talon</em>. Dick still had moments where he felt the memories of who he was during those years in the Court, but Jason always helped him get out of it; reminded him of who he was. Jason's family had helped him too, had welcomed him into their home.</p><p>Or maybe not completely <em>welcomed</em> him, but they were nice.</p><p>Most of them.</p><p>Batman, who Dick had learned was Bruce Wayne was still wary of him and Redbird, Damian Wayne, didn't seem to like him either. Tim Drake, Redbat, had been nice to him though and Dick liked him although he always seemed to be tired and was always on his laptop. Alfred, the old butler, also seemed to like Dick. Alfred was usually the one Dick hung out with when Jason was gone, which wasn't a lot considering Jason didn't like Dick being out of his sight.</p><p>"How the fuck can you already be awake? It's like six in the fucking morning." Jason moans next to him and Dick turns to the image of Jason lying face down on the bed, face buried into his pillow.</p><p>"I'm hungry, and the sun is already up. And stop swearing, is this really how you want to start the day?" Dick scolds, while holding an almost complete copy of Alfred's disapproving gaze as he scoots over to push at Jason.</p><p>"Can't you just go back to sleep? For like a couple of hours at least?" Jason groans and Dick huffs.</p><p>"But there's cereal, and I'm not tired. Did you know that-"</p><p>"Dickie <em>please</em>. Just a couple of hours, I'm begging you." Jason interrupts and Dick sighs but moves to get out of the bed.</p><p>They've been sleeping together since Dick got back, he doesn't like sleeping alone and he feels safer when Jason's with him. Jason hadn't complained, the only one who didn't seem to like it was Mr. Wayne but Alfred had talked to him and he hadn't interfered with their sleeping routine yet.</p><p>"I can go and get it myself." Dick states, feet landing on the cold floor as he shuffled towards the door.</p><p>"Fudge no, you're not supposed to climb on the counters." Jason protests before grumblingly getting out of the bed.</p><p>He throws on a t-shirt before dragging a hand through his messy hair.</p><p>"You're a little shit, you know that?" Jason says and Dick only smiles up at Jason's blue-iceberg eyes.</p><p>They walk out of Jason's bedroom and to the kitchen downstairs.</p><p>"Alfie!" Dick exclaims when he spots Alfred standing by the oven.</p><p>"Good morning Master Dick and Master Jason. You're up early." Alfred sends Jason a fond smile and Dick moves over to hug Alfred.</p><p>The older man gently hugs him back before showing Dick the batch of cookies in the oven. "Wow that's awesome! Jason look, they're elephants!" Dick points at the elephant-shaped cookies and Jason rolls his eyes.</p><p>"Yeah kid, <em>super </em>cool."</p><p>Dick sticks his tongue out at Jason's sarcasm before climbing up on the counter.</p><p>"Master Dick I'd like for you not to climb-"</p><p>"But there's cereal up there Alfie, and you know I've never fallen before." Dick interrupts with a pout as Jason grabs him and pulls him off the counter.</p><p>"No can do Dickie, Alfred's the <em>King</em> of the kitchen and we all listen to him." Jason states and Dick's short legs and arms move around Jason until he's clinging to him like an octopus.</p><p>"Don't use that word." Dick winces into Jason's neck, hiding his face into it.</p><p>The memories of Linden were still present and Dick could feel himself shivering when the image of Tony's smirk enters his mind.</p><p>"Which one? The K one or another one?" Jason asks, hand stroking Dick's back, probably an attempt to calm him down before he has a meltdown.</p><p>"Mhm." Dick answers weakly, clutching Jason's neck in a death-grip.</p><p>"Sorry, I won't use it again Dickie." Jason soothes and Dick nods against him, still not letting go.</p><p>"Some cereal can certainly be arranged Master Dick, why don't you both go and sit down in the tv room, but only for today. I'll bring some breakfast for both of you." Alfred suggests and Jason thanks him before he carries Dick out of the room and to the tv room.</p><p>Jason sits down on the fluffy couch, Dick still in his lap.</p><p>"What you wanna watch Dickie? Cartoons or some nature channel?" Jason murmurs and Dick shrugs into him, still plastered to his chest and neck.</p><p>Jason flips on the tv and Dick hears the sound of a calm male voice speaking about whales enters the room. Dick stays against his neck for another couple of minutes until he slowly lets go of Jason's neck. Dick moves out of his lap and sits down next to him on the couch, nestling into his side and Jason's arm move around his small body.</p><p>Dick watches the majestic whale swim through the sea as small fishes swim underneath it. He giggles when he thinks about how strange it would be to have small fishes swimming underneath you without you noticing. </p><p>"Now, I have a bowl of cereal here for the Young Master and a cup of coffee for the older one." Alfred's voice announces as he walks into the room with a tray. </p><p>Dick takes the bowl with a small smile and Jason thanks Alfred before taking his cup. Alfred leaves and Dick and Jason continue to stay in silence while they watch the programme. Dick likes it; the stillness. He never thought that he would like it after his time in the coffin, but this was a different stillness; a warm stillness. </p><p>"You okay Dickie?" Jason asks after awhile and Dick curls up closer to Jason in response.</p><p>The sounds of another pair of footsteps causes Dick to turn his head away from the screen and towards the doorway. Mr. Wayne was watching them with a puzzling expression. Jason shifts to face Mr. Wayne too and Dick swallows. He'd heard them fight plenty of times on his short stay here, apparently Jason didn't stay here at the manor, not normally. He had his own place somewhere else in the city. Dick didn't fully understand why he didn't stay there, but Jason hadn't brought it up and so Dick didn't ask.</p><p>"Good morning Jason, Dick." Mr. Wayne nods before walking away, causing Jason to let out a scoff.</p><p>"Fu-"</p><p>"Don't kill more flowers!" Dick quickly interrupts, turning to look up at him and Jason's scowl morphs into a fond smile.</p><p>"Sorry, how's the cereal?" Jason asks and Dick immediately offers the bowl to him, causing Jason to grab a handful of cereal before throwing them back in his mouth.</p><p>"No! You took too many!" Dick shoves at Jason's chest and Jason grins down at him.</p><p>"You told me there would be cereal, if anything I deserve the whole bowl after waking up before the sun." </p><p>"The sun was already awake! Besides, it's mine!" Dick whines and immediately moves off the couch with his bowl protectively tucked into his chest when Jason reaches for more.</p><p>"No way!" Dick starts running when Jason gets off the couch, chasing after him.</p><p>"No! No Jason!" Dick shouts while laughter overtakes him.</p><p>Jason follows him into the kitchen where he finally catches Dick, letting out an "aha" before grabbing Dick's waist, hauling him up in his arms.</p><p>"No they're mine!" Dick giggles and Jason is about to answer when both of them suddenly spots the rest of the family standig by the kitchen island.</p><p>"Good morning to you two." Tim sends them an easy smile, taking a long sip of his black coffee and Dick bites his lip as Mr. Wayne's gaze analyses him like Dick's an algorithm he's trying to solve.</p><p>Jason slowly lowers him back on the ground and Dick spots Damian rolling his eyes at them.</p><p>"Tt, you're both acting like children." </p><p>"Not to rain on your parade<em> Demon Spawn</em>, but you're <em>literally</em> the same age as him." Jason huffs and Dick's face falls for a moment.</p><p>There are still some issues about his age. He had been taken by the Court one year after Jason had been taken away, but the time in the coffin and when he had become Talon had stopped his ageing, at least it felt like it. Like everything was being put on pause for those five years. </p><p>"Dickie?" Jason's voice causes Dick to blink back to the kitchen.</p><p>Jason was crouching down in front of him with a worried look on his face.</p><p>"Sorry, I-" Dick stops himself, biting his lip in embarrassment. </p><p>He still had trouble with disappearing into his thoughts or just sort of floating away, Alfred had told him that it was understandable after having spent so long in the coffin.</p><p>"It's okay, you back?" Jason asks and Dick nods quickly, teeth still rolling his bottom lip between them.</p><p>Dick doesn't dare to look at the other people in the room and Jason seems to understand.</p><p>"Come on, you stink." Jason gets up and Dick grabs onto the end of his shirt before following Jason back to his room.</p><p>.</p><p>They spend the rest of the day playing basketball and reading. The manor had big garden outside as well as a basketball court. Jason had shown him how to throw the ball into the hoop and then they dribbled until Dick fell on his face after trying to get the ball from Jason. After that they had been instructed by Alfred that it was enough basketball for one day and had advised them to the library instead. </p><p>Both Tim and Damian were at school and Mr. Wayne was at work, leaving the manor to be completely quiet while they sat in one armchair each. Dick was reading a book about elephants that Jason had given him during his first week at the manor, it had both pictures and long paragraphs about elephants. Dick liked reading it, if he'd ever meet Zitka again he would be able to understand her better and maybe tell her about some of the thing he had learned.</p><p>Evening arrived and Jason went out with the rest of the family, apart from Alfred, on patrol. Dick usually stayed up watching the tv or went to bed during the patrol.</p><p>Today Dick decides to go to bed, exhausted from having been up all day. Dick curls down under the covers, closing his eyes as he pulls Jason's pillow against his chest. He didn't like going to bed without Jason, nor did he like actually falling asleep. Sometimes Dick was scared that all of this was a dream, just like the ones about Linden when he was Talon. What if all of this was a dream? What if he was still at the Court in his coffin? What if he's woken up by them, telling him to-</p><p>To kill someone.</p><p>He shudders. Jason had told him that it wasn't his fault, that it wasn't <em>Dick</em>; that it was the Court that had done the killing. So why did Dick still remember the blood on his hands? Why did he still remember every kill? Every person he had turned into a body? His small hand moves away from Jason's pillow and he pulls off his sweatshirt, hand touching his back. The scars are still there, his healing abilities weren't able to get rid of them. The Court had decreased his healing abilities to the bare minimum, only deciding to let him keep them so that they could continue their torture on him without him dying.</p><p>Dick shudders for a second time, hand still touching his back. It's raised where the whip had hit him, it probably looks ugly too. Jason had never said anything, but Dick had seen his face when he saw the marks for the first couple of weeks. Alfred had been the one taking care of Dick's wounds during their healing while Jason watched and tried to help as best as he could; bandaging the wounds and giving Dick some pain medications.</p><p>Dick didn't deserve that. Dick never told Jason about this feeling inside of him; the darkness inside of him. The way he sometimes thought that he should have burned along with the rest of the Court, that he should have been punished for all the things he did while he was Talon. While he was a monster and the monster was still somewhere inside him, still lodged deep inside his chest. Dick was scared, scared of the day when the monster would take over, would destroy everything he'd built up.</p><p>Dick forces his eyes shut as tears stubbornly escape underneath his lids. He hides his face against Jason's pillow, both hands curling around it as he tried to muffle his sobs. He usually didn't make a sound when he cried, he only made sounds when he felt like something... more raw had to come out. His whole body shakes under the covers as he tries to get all of his sadness and hurt out, tries to become free of all of the chains.</p><p>"Dickie?" Jason's voice causes him to tense, he doesn't want Jason here. Not now, not when Dick feels like the darkness is taking over.</p><p>Dick desperately tries to stop crying but he can't, it's like everything's decided to come out right now.</p><p>"Dickie, come here." Jason's voice was soft, comforting.</p><p>Dick didn't want that, didn't <em>deserve</em> that.</p><p>He feels Jason's weight on the bed, feels Jason slowly laying down behind him before arms slowly envelope him, pulling him against Jason's chest.</p><p>"It's okay Dickie." Jason murmurs while Dick continues to cry into the pillow, his marred back touching Jason's clothed chest.</p><p>"Tell me what's wrong." Jason says once Dick's crying has turned into occasional sniffles.</p><p>"No." Dick shakes his head, still holding the pillow in a death-grip.</p><p>"You don't want to tell me because you don't want to or because you think you can't?" Jason asks and Dick doesn't answer.</p><p>It's answer enough.</p><p>"Can you try? Just a couple of words?" Jason asks and Dick swallows.</p><p>"I'm scared." Dick finally answers quietly.</p><p>Jason nods against the back of his head, still holding him close. "Past, future or present?" Jason asks again and Dick answers with a low "everything, <em>me</em>." </p><p>"Dick, nothing is going to happen to you. I burned that place to the ground, killed all of the fucked up owls and-"</p><p>"I'm not... I'm not scared <em>for</em> me." Dick interrupts and tenses when Jason goes quiet.</p><p>"There's... so much darkness... it's inside me." Dick continues, hands letting go of the pillow to push against his closed eyes.</p><p>Then, Jason suddenly shuffles, he moves away and Dick lets out a sob. Jason was leaving him, leaving him because of the darkness, leaving him because he realises what Dick really is; who he really is.</p><p>"Dickie, look at me." Jason's voice was steady, quiet and Dick doesn't want to.</p><p>He doesn't want to watch Jason walk away from him, watch him abandon Dick again just like everyone's left him.</p><p>"Please." Jason suddenly says and Dick forces himself to turn towards Jason, slowly sitting up on the bed.</p><p>Jason's sitting in front of him and Dick suddenly spots his eyes. Jason's usual blue eyes are green, almost burning green.</p><p>"I- something happened to me too, something bad. It made me feel darkness too, feel like it was consuming me. Sometimes it does; sometimes it just takes over and all I can do is try to breathe and remember that I'm not a part of the darkness but that it's a part of me." Jason explains, eyes growing bluer for each passing second. "That's the secret Dickie. The darkness never wins, because it's not <em>you</em>. You're still you, underneath all that shit that tries to take over. You just have to remember that it's not a part of you, it's like a guest living in your house. You just throw them <em>the fuck</em> <em>out</em> and tell them that it's your fucking house." Jason continues and Dick bites his lip as he ignores Jason's swearing and instead focuses on what he's saying.</p><p>"Do you understand?" Jason asks, eyes almost completely back to blue that are still strong enough to resemble icebergs and Dick nods.</p><p>"What... what happened to you?" Dick asks and Jason sends him an almost sad smile.</p><p>"Nothing you have to worry about kiddo, come here." Jason opens his arms and Dick instantly move into his chest as Jason hugs him.</p><p>Dick grabs onto the front of Jason's t-shirt as Jason starts to gently stroke his marred back. Dick shudders until he slowly starts growing used to the touch. It's different from when he wears a shirt, the soft fabric usually makes it impossible to feel the scars but now when he's not wearing his sweatshirt anymore Jason probably feels all of the scars.</p><p>"It doesn't define you. You can be whoever you want, okay? There's nothing stopping you from that." Jason murmurs and Dick nods against him, closing his eyes.</p><p>They stay like that for a long time. Jason's chin resting on Dick's head and Jason's hand stroking his back while Dick holds him close. Dick finally edges away, looking up at Jason with big eyes.</p><p>"Even an elephant?" </p><p>Jason lets out a snort, sending him another one of his fond smiles.</p><p>"Nah, but if we're sneaky enough we might be able to steal some of Alfred's elephant cookies and a tub of ice cream from the freezer." Jason winks and Dick deems it close enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have a lot of more awesome ideas for this series! What would you guys think about a trip to the zoo and a familiar face, or should I say... trunk?</p><p>Nah but let me know what you thought about this, I'm DYING to know what you liked and what you didn't like! (:<br/>Also I thought ages for the kids in this and for future works in this series look like this:<br/>- Jason 19<br/>- Tim 14<br/>- Damian 10<br/>- Dick 9-10 (physical and psychological age)</p><p>this explains why I'm not tagging Robin-Reversal since it's only Dick who's age is changed (although the others aren't right but they FEEL right, ya know!?)</p><p>Until next time, stay safe and eat maize!<br/>Comment &amp; kudos are always appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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